[ Oh, she definitely knows where to find good food in the city. Janet's starving and treating Steve is the least that she can do to show appreciation and, really, apologize for anything he might have had to deal with the night prior. ]
[Janet always seems like a person with connections, so to speak. Steve is almost the opposite of her in personality type, but that doesn't mean he's unable to appreciate her talents.]
I'll leave it in your hands, then. And I'll supply the coffee and aspirin.
Hold on, are you telling me you hacked SHIELD, or did you just pick up the files Romanoff let loose on the internet a few months back?
[The information is more or less the same, but he's going to be more impressed if it's the former. And a little more disturbed.]
Not really. They didn't give any less than I did.
Also the pictures they used were all wrong. Everyone looked so serious. If you tried to take a photo when any of those guys were looking, they made faces at the camera.
Both. The Ramonoff files were lacking essential information, though they were enlightening enough on their own.
[Is it mildly creepy that Loki spent all this time reading about you, Steve? You decide.]
Ah, but the world wants to remember heroes, not normal men and women making faces at the camera. You should see my portrait in Asgard's great Hall. It definitely does not convey the face I was giving the painter.
[If Steve were any other person, he'd probably find it unbelievably creepy. As it is, he's used to people doing historical research, background checks, and general annoying-but-harmless fan activities that result in him getting personal questions and other unwanted attention.
So, yes, it's mildly creepy, but he has some basis to handle it reasonably well.]
Part of me wants to ask why the hell you're this interested in me, but ultimately it might be better if I didn't know.
[And since he hasn't told Loki to back off yet, one can safely assume Steve is either not too creeped-out, or mildly intrigued, or both.]
I suppose. I'd just like for them to be remembered for who they really were. Because that was plenty good enough.
[Of course, 'dating' presents its own set of challenges, namely that Steve was never very good at it and has lost what little practice he had. Also, spending a whole lot of time in public is a bad idea for them. They're pretty recognizable.
Coffee, picnics, and games of tag (or water fights) should work, though.]
Star-spangled boxers. [He returns the smirk, and even if his ear-tips turn pink, he's not too awkward to push his luck a little.] But it's the sock garters that really make the look.
[The two of them aren't exactly normal people. Steve's considered 'unpredictable' — it's the polite word to use these days — and Bucky's a criminal. But this isn't for the public eye anyway, this is for a lazy morning kitchen, for sitting on the counter while Steve mixes up pancakes (and getting in his way), for pouring the coffee when it's done and offering a mug to Steve.
And giving him an obvious once-over, because Bucky can't pass up on the opportunity to make Steve squirm.] Mmm yeah, I could picture it.
[He wouldn't have nearly so many stars-and-stripes boxers if people didn't keep giving them to him as gifts. His preference tends to be plain grey, blue, or black.
He buys his own handkerchiefs and sock garters, though. There's nothing wrong with clinging to some old-fashioned habits.
And having Bucky look him over like that makes a flush of heat ripple over him. He can only hope he's not turning redder. But he leans against the counter and reaches up over his shoulder, getting very close in the process, to get a bag of chocolate chips off one of the shelves.]
You can picture it all you want. There's no charge for lookin'.
[Technically, Steve has been 'unpredictable' since he was a kid. He just hadn't been 'dragged past his mental and emotional limits until he ran out of fucks to give', until recently. But it's nice that someone's out there trying to be tactful, since Steve isn't great at that, himself.]
[At least one set probably came from Bucky, in all honesty. But that’s okay, just another prank between friends and really, Steve’s going to get him back for it. That’s just how they are. And now that “sex ninja” has been laid on the table, Bucky’s half afraid of shape that retaliation might take.
And Steve blushing, just right there at the tips of his ears? That’s familiar, something Bucky’s used to from growing up together, a reaction that clearly hasn’t gone away. But what’s new, what’s different is the way Steve leans close, crowds right into Bucky’s space.
And Bucky thinks he likes it.]
Good. [And maybe it’s too easy to fall into remembered habits but that slow smile, the way lashes sweep over his eyes and up again, the subtle lean toward Steve? It’s all part of a dance he knows too well, flirtation as natural as breathing.] ‘Cause I think I’m gonna do a lot of looking.
[Ninja underwear shouldn't be that hard to find. Ninja turtles are an option, in fact, although that would probably not be sexy.
The look Bucky's giving him seems only to intensify. He remembers that body language, the sweep of lashes, the lazy motions--like he's moving through honey. How many times, when they were young, did Steve daydream about Bucky flirting with him like that, and shut himself down before he could even think about voicing it? Maybe he was misguided. Maybe the kid who never admitted to being afraid of anyone or anything had a little streak of cowardice after all.
But that was then, and this is now, and the regrets may well come spilling out later, but at the moment there are pancakes to cook, so Steve lets himself feel this, lets himself blush a little more, and gives his friend a crooked, but not discouraging, smile.
And then discovers he's abruptly run out of clever banter.]
Um. Yeah? I'm okay with that. [This is why he never got many dates as a young man.] Very okay.
[Please let it be ridiculous ninja turtle underwear because that visuals is just amazing.
But seeing Steve up close like this? Seeing the interest in his expression, the curiosity, the willingness to explore? That’s one of the biggest highs that Bucky has ever felt. And it’d be so easy to push further, he thinks, to push for more, to lean in and draw Steve into something—
And he’s not going to do it. Respects Steve too much, wants to take this slow. Do it right, whatever that means. So a hand just skims along the back of Steve’s palm instead, and Bucky lets his own expression soften.]
After breakfast. [So that he can be sure that it’s something Steve really wants, that Steve’s not just giving in to sudden pressure because Bucky trapped him into leaning close.] I’m gonna do a hell of a lot of looking.
Steve seems a little bit hypnotized for a moment, just watching Bucky's body language and breathing in the scent of him (combined with the smell of pancake batter and coffee), and he's not sure what he's expecting, but it seems like the moment of calm before something big happens.
Except then Bucky backs down, and he's not sure if he's relieved or disappointed, but either way taking it slow is probably safest. Steve smiles at the touch and then moves away to dump chocolate chips in the bowl.]
Can I ask you something dumb? Maybe you don't even remember the answer...but you've got me wondering now, whether you ever looked at me before. Either before Project Rebirth or after, while we were fighting together.
If it's too hard to look back on that right now, don't. I just wondered.
[That smile tells Bucky that he made the right choice, that backing down — as much as he didn't want to — is for the best. At least right now. At least until after breakfast.]
Wouldn't be the first time you asked a dumb question. [He can't help it; ribbing Steve is just part of the Best Friend Code. But the question isn't at all dumb — it's a little complicated, at least in how to word the answer. Bucky stalls by taking a sip of coffee, swiping a few of those chocolate chips from Steve.
That answer, when it comes, is actually pretty simple.]
You know that I never stayed with one dame for too long. Didn't it ever occur to you why?
[After breakfast, Steve is definitely going to attempt to invade Bucky's personal space again. In the nice way.
Steve sees that stall and takes the opportunity to get his own coffee and heat up the griddle, dropping butter in the bottom to melt.]
We were young. [He studies his face, sadness and awe blended in his eyes.] Figured...you just hadn't found the one, yet.
[He doesn't have to ask why Bucky never said anything while they were together in the Howling Commandos. There was a very good reason, and her name was Peggy, and Steve would have most certainly continued to court her after the war, if things had gone that way. His daydreams included a home and family with her, but with Bucky right there, too, maybe next door with a wife of his own, maybe some kids that would play with his and Peggy's kids. Something safe and conventional that wouldn't separate them. Something that probably would have made Steve, at least, very happy.
Man plans, God laughs. Maybe Steve was trying to have his cake and eat it, too, with those fantasies.]
I'm so sorry, Bucky. I shoulda said something when we were teenagers. I was scared of dragging you down, I guess. Or breaking what we had. I could never imagine life without you, though. Didn't want to try.
Young and a little stupid maybe. [And there was the war. Speaking up, saying anything? Wouldn't have changed Bucky shipping out. And it wouldn't have changed what happened to Steve, perhaps. And after? After Steve had eyes only for Peggy and—
And it wasn't a bad thing. Bucky had his own demons to work through anyway, and Steve and Peggy — they worked. They worked and Steve got that soft, goofy smile on his face when he talked about her and that was it, that was the plan: win the war, go home, be Steve's best man.
Really, it had been a good plan.
But right now, right here? This is good too, sitting on the counter and watching Steve form pancakes on the griddle, watching the expressions on his face and the faintest hint of pink that occasionally graces the tips of his ears.]
It wasn't the right time. We both know that. [One foot nudges against the side of Steve's leg, something he deems the safest because, well, hot stove top.] I think it could be a good time now though.
You saying we're not still a little stupid? [Steve can't quite hide the flicker of pain--he's made some tremendous mistakes, of late--but he lets it go a moment later, in light of pancakes and Bucky's touch.
And Bucky's proposition. If anyone can heal the two of them, it's one another, and Steve gives him an unintentionally coy glance in his peripheral vision, smiling awkwardly. Hopefully.]
Can we do it right, then? Flowers, dancing, all that kinda goofy shit? I mean, you can still chase me down with limericks, too. I'll count that as love poetry.
[Normally Bucky would twist that statement into a tease, lick into Steve mercilessly until they're both rolling on the floor with laughter. But it's the look in Steve's eyes that stops him. They're both still a little broken and trying to piece themselves back together. It's not necessarily a comfortable thing, but it's an important one.]
Maybe just a little. [He shrugs though; it's not a bad thing.] Maybe my stupid just needs your stupid.
And we could try, sure. I don't know how much of that I even remember how to do. [Isn't sure that he even wants it anymore, but he's not going to tell Steve something that he's having trouble reconciling himself. No, it's something he's got to dig into in terms of the whys, see if it's tied up in memories or the reality of his existence. It's not a struggle Steve needs to see, at least not yet — not until Bucky can explain it a little better.] But if you keep looking at me like that, I'm gonna have a hard time waiting until after breakfast to kiss you.
Our stupids compliment one another? I believe that. [The tension flees away again, and his smile goes from awkward to soft and warm.
Steve worries his lip, considering, without any particular concern that that gesture will make Bucky more inclined to kiss him. (Would that be a bad thing? The pancakes might burn.)]
Well, I never did learn to dance. And I'm not expecting to pretend we just stepped back in time or anything like that. Just let me try to be sweet here and there without laughing at me, okay? [Because flowers will probably be a thing before too long. Anything fancier than that can wait. Flowers, sharing a beer, and making out on the fire escape sound like a fair balance to Steve.]
Wanna know what's even scarier? Our smarts compliment each other too. That's downright terrifying.
[There's the smile again though, the one Bucky just wants to lean a little closer to — especially when Steve chews on his own lip a moment later. His eyes are drawn right to the sight and he can't help that his tongue flicks out to wet his own lips in response. Steve really is just that attractive, and a lot of it is tied up into how he doesn't seem to even realize it. It's just natural in the way he moves — or perhaps it's more that he moves this naturally around Bucky. Bucky isn't sure which it actually is but he's most certainly not complaining either way.
And really, it's the practicality of burned food and the inevitable cleanup that would follow that are keeping him behaving right now. Well, for the most part.]
Hey, have I ever laughed at you when it's counted? [Laughed with Steve certainly, out of mutual enjoyment and happiness. Laughed at him? There's a difference.] You do sweet and I'll be wicked and we'll meet in the middle?
Me? Heavens no. You're not property, Steve. [Possessive wouldn't be the word she'd use, Captain. Overprotective, yes. Sprinkled with a dash of jealous. When you didn't get the chance to see where what they had could lead, well you were bound to be jealous of anyone else that might have, or had the chance to.
But she has a lot to learn about this Steve Rogers. Moreso than the Peggy he had known. Maybe getting to know his friends, of both genders, might be a good idea after all.
Carefully she lowered herself onto the leather sofa, making sure the robe laid somewhat modestly against her thighs before crossing her legs at her ankles. This wasn't her first choice to throw on after drinking the night before. Being in a foggy haze you grabbed whatever was hanging up in the closet. She felt more comfortable in uniform pants and a combat shirt.]
Of course you do. I have to admit, I sometimes forget you're not my... [There's a pause in both her confession and her leaning in to pour out the drink from shaker to glass. Smile faultering for a brief moment as she considered.] ...the Steve who I knew. [She corrects somberly, silently offering the first glass over with a telling look that says, you don't have to take it, I'm just being polite.
Well, you're a little scary when you're jealous. [Ironically, though, he sort of is property. At least, the extra hundred pounds and several inches that the serum packed onto his little body is technically government property, and he's lost track of who has the patent to the serum and/or any of its variations.
But he's not property of a specific person, nor does he wish to be. Not really his kink. He smiles at her, trying to be subtle about the way he's watching her as she sits and makes herself comfortable. His heartbeat is ramping up, but he has every intention of behaving himself. Unless she asks him not to.
He accepts the glass graciously and nods his understanding, gaze softening.] Vice-versa, for me, for what it's worth. The Peggy I knew...well. She had a life after I crashed into the arctic, a good one. A husband who was good for her, work and family and all that.
And I'm glad. I honestly think she did better without me around than she would've with me. Accomplished a hell of a lot, anyway. But I'd be lying if I tried to tell you I ever got over what might've been.
[He can still feel that first-and-last kiss between them on his lips.] Wouldn't be right for either of us to substitute what's in front of us for what we lost, but I don't think there's anything wrong with memories being a jumping-off place to build something new. If you want.
I shall do my best to keep it in "check" then. [Though she would easily argue the notion any piece of him, serum made or not, was property to anyone other than himself, especially the government. And if anyone could go toe to toe on the matter it would be her. Peggy didn't view herself, or any part of her as property and she'd like to think Doctor Erskine would agree with her. Which would make her right.
The look doesn't go unnoticed. Even if she weren't watching and studying Steve her peripheral vision would have easily picked it up. Tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear in perhaps her way of subtle letting Steve know she's aware, Peggy went to work nursing the drink.]
Your director, Nicholas I believe, he showed me some of her files. I gather there were other files either long since destroyed or some still being kept hidden far from seeing the light of day. But yes, from what I read on paper it did seem a good life. [And from what she's heard, too. However it appeared on paper, or in person, didn't mean it was though. Especially in their world - worlds. Peggy knows from experience what it was like to lose Steve. To mourn for him, for what might have been and to do what had to be done in order to keep him alive in some way. Whether it was starting SHIELD here, or taking up the mantle as she'd done. But she keeps that part to herself and pushes the memories down with a swill of her drink.
Flinching at the aftertaste, Peggy places the glass to the table and takes a deep breath in.]
No. No, it most certainly would not. [She agrees wholeheartedly before raising a brow at Steve, arms coming to cross loosely over her chest as she settles against the plush cushions behind her.]
If we're being perfectly honest? There's nothing I want more. [A beat.] Also, was that your not so subtle way of asking me to tell you my tale of woe, Captain?
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2017-08-07 03:36 am (UTC)That is a respectable coffee order, ma'am. Happy to comply. Give me ten.
And drink some water. Caffeine is a diuretic.
[He can't resist the opportunity to mother hen a little, evidently, given the chance.]
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Date: 2017-08-07 04:06 am (UTC)Rest assured, I've been chugging water and Gatorade since I woke up.
Are you hungry? Is that a stupid question? Every man I know seems like a bottomless pit, so probably, but I could have brunch delivered for us.
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Date: 2017-08-08 12:04 am (UTC)And I wouldn't say I'm a bottomless pit, but I could eat. Surprise me?
[Look, if there's anyone who knows where to get a good brunch, he's pretty sure it's her.]
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Date: 2017-08-08 12:37 am (UTC)I've got just the place in mind.
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Date: 2017-08-09 03:14 am (UTC)I'll leave it in your hands, then. And I'll supply the coffee and aspirin.
((I'm assuming post TWS, if that's okay?))
Date: 2017-08-08 12:22 am (UTC)Hold on, are you telling me you hacked SHIELD, or did you just pick up the files Romanoff let loose on the internet a few months back?
[The information is more or less the same, but he's going to be more impressed if it's the former. And a little more disturbed.]
Not really. They didn't give any less than I did.
Also the pictures they used were all wrong. Everyone looked so serious. If you tried to take a photo when any of those guys were looking, they made faces at the camera.
that's okay!
Date: 2017-08-09 12:21 am (UTC)[Is it mildly creepy that Loki spent all this time reading about you, Steve? You decide.]
Ah, but the world wants to remember heroes, not normal men and women making faces at the camera. You should see my portrait in Asgard's great Hall. It definitely does not convey the face I was giving the painter.
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Date: 2017-08-09 03:00 am (UTC)So, yes, it's mildly creepy, but he has some basis to handle it reasonably well.]
Part of me wants to ask why the hell you're this interested in me, but ultimately it might be better if I didn't know.
[And since he hasn't told Loki to back off yet, one can safely assume Steve is either not too creeped-out, or mildly intrigued, or both.]
I suppose. I'd just like for them to be remembered for who they really were. Because that was plenty good enough.
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Date: 2018-03-28 02:59 am (UTC)[Of course, 'dating' presents its own set of challenges, namely that Steve was never very good at it and has lost what little practice he had. Also, spending a whole lot of time in public is a bad idea for them. They're pretty recognizable.
Coffee, picnics, and games of tag (or water fights) should work, though.]
Star-spangled boxers. [He returns the smirk, and even if his ear-tips turn pink, he's not too awkward to push his luck a little.] But it's the sock garters that really make the look.
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Date: 2018-03-28 03:11 am (UTC)And giving him an obvious once-over, because Bucky can't pass up on the opportunity to make Steve squirm.] Mmm yeah, I could picture it.
[He winks.] Garters and all.
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Date: 2018-03-28 03:41 am (UTC)He buys his own handkerchiefs and sock garters, though. There's nothing wrong with clinging to some old-fashioned habits.
And having Bucky look him over like that makes a flush of heat ripple over him. He can only hope he's not turning redder. But he leans against the counter and reaches up over his shoulder, getting very close in the process, to get a bag of chocolate chips off one of the shelves.]
You can picture it all you want. There's no charge for lookin'.
[Technically, Steve has been 'unpredictable' since he was a kid. He just hadn't been 'dragged past his mental and emotional limits until he ran out of fucks to give', until recently. But it's nice that someone's out there trying to be tactful, since Steve isn't great at that, himself.]
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Date: 2018-03-28 05:38 am (UTC)And Steve blushing, just right there at the tips of his ears? That’s familiar, something Bucky’s used to from growing up together, a reaction that clearly hasn’t gone away. But what’s new, what’s different is the way Steve leans close, crowds right into Bucky’s space.
And Bucky thinks he likes it.]
Good. [And maybe it’s too easy to fall into remembered habits but that slow smile, the way lashes sweep over his eyes and up again, the subtle lean toward Steve? It’s all part of a dance he knows too well, flirtation as natural as breathing.] ‘Cause I think I’m gonna do a lot of looking.
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Date: 2018-03-28 07:35 pm (UTC)The look Bucky's giving him seems only to intensify. He remembers that body language, the sweep of lashes, the lazy motions--like he's moving through honey. How many times, when they were young, did Steve daydream about Bucky flirting with him like that, and shut himself down before he could even think about voicing it? Maybe he was misguided. Maybe the kid who never admitted to being afraid of anyone or anything had a little streak of cowardice after all.
But that was then, and this is now, and the regrets may well come spilling out later, but at the moment there are pancakes to cook, so Steve lets himself feel this, lets himself blush a little more, and gives his friend a crooked, but not discouraging, smile.
And then discovers he's abruptly run out of clever banter.]
Um. Yeah? I'm okay with that. [This is why he never got many dates as a young man.] Very okay.
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Date: 2018-03-28 08:56 pm (UTC)But seeing Steve up close like this? Seeing the interest in his expression, the curiosity, the willingness to explore? That’s one of the biggest highs that Bucky has ever felt. And it’d be so easy to push further, he thinks, to push for more, to lean in and draw Steve into something—
And he’s not going to do it. Respects Steve too much, wants to take this slow. Do it right, whatever that means. So a hand just skims along the back of Steve’s palm instead, and Bucky lets his own expression soften.]
After breakfast. [So that he can be sure that it’s something Steve really wants, that Steve’s not just giving in to sudden pressure because Bucky trapped him into leaning close.] I’m gonna do a hell of a lot of looking.
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Date: 2018-03-29 01:06 pm (UTC)Steve seems a little bit hypnotized for a moment, just watching Bucky's body language and breathing in the scent of him (combined with the smell of pancake batter and coffee), and he's not sure what he's expecting, but it seems like the moment of calm before something big happens.
Except then Bucky backs down, and he's not sure if he's relieved or disappointed, but either way taking it slow is probably safest. Steve smiles at the touch and then moves away to dump chocolate chips in the bowl.]
Can I ask you something dumb? Maybe you don't even remember the answer...but you've got me wondering now, whether you ever looked at me before. Either before Project Rebirth or after, while we were fighting together.
If it's too hard to look back on that right now, don't. I just wondered.
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Date: 2018-03-29 02:00 pm (UTC)Wouldn't be the first time you asked a dumb question. [He can't help it; ribbing Steve is just part of the Best Friend Code. But the question isn't at all dumb — it's a little complicated, at least in how to word the answer. Bucky stalls by taking a sip of coffee, swiping a few of those chocolate chips from Steve.
That answer, when it comes, is actually pretty simple.]
You know that I never stayed with one dame for too long. Didn't it ever occur to you why?
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Date: 2018-03-29 03:04 pm (UTC)Steve sees that stall and takes the opportunity to get his own coffee and heat up the griddle, dropping butter in the bottom to melt.]
We were young. [He studies his face, sadness and awe blended in his eyes.] Figured...you just hadn't found the one, yet.
[He doesn't have to ask why Bucky never said anything while they were together in the Howling Commandos. There was a very good reason, and her name was Peggy, and Steve would have most certainly continued to court her after the war, if things had gone that way. His daydreams included a home and family with her, but with Bucky right there, too, maybe next door with a wife of his own, maybe some kids that would play with his and Peggy's kids. Something safe and conventional that wouldn't separate them. Something that probably would have made Steve, at least, very happy.
Man plans, God laughs. Maybe Steve was trying to have his cake and eat it, too, with those fantasies.]
I'm so sorry, Bucky. I shoulda said something when we were teenagers. I was scared of dragging you down, I guess. Or breaking what we had. I could never imagine life without you, though. Didn't want to try.
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Date: 2018-03-29 06:06 pm (UTC)And it wasn't a bad thing. Bucky had his own demons to work through anyway, and Steve and Peggy — they worked. They worked and Steve got that soft, goofy smile on his face when he talked about her and that was it, that was the plan: win the war, go home, be Steve's best man.
Really, it had been a good plan.
But right now, right here? This is good too, sitting on the counter and watching Steve form pancakes on the griddle, watching the expressions on his face and the faintest hint of pink that occasionally graces the tips of his ears.]
It wasn't the right time. We both know that. [One foot nudges against the side of Steve's leg, something he deems the safest because, well, hot stove top.] I think it could be a good time now though.
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Date: 2018-03-30 02:00 pm (UTC)And Bucky's proposition. If anyone can heal the two of them, it's one another, and Steve gives him an unintentionally coy glance in his peripheral vision, smiling awkwardly. Hopefully.]
Can we do it right, then? Flowers, dancing, all that kinda goofy shit? I mean, you can still chase me down with limericks, too. I'll count that as love poetry.
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Date: 2018-03-30 03:10 pm (UTC)Maybe just a little. [He shrugs though; it's not a bad thing.] Maybe my stupid just needs your stupid.
And we could try, sure. I don't know how much of that I even remember how to do. [Isn't sure that he even wants it anymore, but he's not going to tell Steve something that he's having trouble reconciling himself. No, it's something he's got to dig into in terms of the whys, see if it's tied up in memories or the reality of his existence. It's not a struggle Steve needs to see, at least not yet — not until Bucky can explain it a little better.] But if you keep looking at me like that, I'm gonna have a hard time waiting until after breakfast to kiss you.
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Date: 2018-04-02 02:56 am (UTC)Steve worries his lip, considering, without any particular concern that that gesture will make Bucky more inclined to kiss him. (Would that be a bad thing? The pancakes might burn.)]
Well, I never did learn to dance. And I'm not expecting to pretend we just stepped back in time or anything like that. Just let me try to be sweet here and there without laughing at me, okay? [Because flowers will probably be a thing before too long. Anything fancier than that can wait. Flowers, sharing a beer, and making out on the fire escape sound like a fair balance to Steve.]
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Date: 2018-04-02 04:47 am (UTC)[There's the smile again though, the one Bucky just wants to lean a little closer to — especially when Steve chews on his own lip a moment later. His eyes are drawn right to the sight and he can't help that his tongue flicks out to wet his own lips in response. Steve really is just that attractive, and a lot of it is tied up into how he doesn't seem to even realize it. It's just natural in the way he moves — or perhaps it's more that he moves this naturally around Bucky. Bucky isn't sure which it actually is but he's most certainly not complaining either way.
And really, it's the practicality of burned food and the inevitable cleanup that would follow that are keeping him behaving right now. Well, for the most part.]
Hey, have I ever laughed at you when it's counted? [Laughed with Steve certainly, out of mutual enjoyment and happiness. Laughed at him? There's a difference.] You do sweet and I'll be wicked and we'll meet in the middle?
(sorry for the lag; got sick and fell behind on tags)
From:(no apologies needed! i hope you're feeling better and i'm totally okay with slow tags, seriously)
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From:"upstairs brain" and "downstairs brain" is the greatest thing i have read all day
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Date: 2018-07-01 04:38 am (UTC)Me? Heavens no. You're not property, Steve. [Possessive wouldn't be the word she'd use, Captain. Overprotective, yes. Sprinkled with a dash of jealous. When you didn't get the chance to see where what they had could lead, well you were bound to be jealous of anyone else that might have, or had the chance to.
But she has a lot to learn about this Steve Rogers. Moreso than the Peggy he had known. Maybe getting to know his friends, of both genders, might be a good idea after all.
Carefully she lowered herself onto the leather sofa, making sure the robe laid somewhat modestly against her thighs before crossing her legs at her ankles. This wasn't her first choice to throw on after drinking the night before. Being in a foggy haze you grabbed whatever was hanging up in the closet. She felt more comfortable in uniform pants and a combat shirt.]
Of course you do. I have to admit, I sometimes forget you're not my... [There's a pause in both her confession and her leaning in to pour out the drink from shaker to glass. Smile faultering for a brief moment as she considered.] ...the Steve who I knew. [She corrects somberly, silently offering the first glass over with a telling look that says, you don't have to take it, I'm just being polite.
She's also learning to play hostess.]
no subject
Date: 2018-07-09 02:38 pm (UTC)But he's not property of a specific person, nor does he wish to be.
Not really his kink.He smiles at her, trying to be subtle about the way he's watching her as she sits and makes herself comfortable. His heartbeat is ramping up, but he has every intention of behaving himself. Unless she asks him not to.He accepts the glass graciously and nods his understanding, gaze softening.] Vice-versa, for me, for what it's worth. The Peggy I knew...well. She had a life after I crashed into the arctic, a good one. A husband who was good for her, work and family and all that.
And I'm glad. I honestly think she did better without me around than she would've with me. Accomplished a hell of a lot, anyway. But I'd be lying if I tried to tell you I ever got over what might've been.
[He can still feel that first-and-last kiss between them on his lips.] Wouldn't be right for either of us to substitute what's in front of us for what we lost, but I don't think there's anything wrong with memories being a jumping-off place to build something new. If you want.
i thought i posted this the other day but apaprently my internet trolled me.
Date: 2018-07-17 05:25 am (UTC)The look doesn't go unnoticed. Even if she weren't watching and studying Steve her peripheral vision would have easily picked it up. Tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear in perhaps her way of subtle letting Steve know she's aware, Peggy went to work nursing the drink.]
Your director, Nicholas I believe, he showed me some of her files. I gather there were other files either long since destroyed or some still being kept hidden far from seeing the light of day. But yes, from what I read on paper it did seem a good life. [And from what she's heard, too. However it appeared on paper, or in person, didn't mean it was though. Especially in their world - worlds. Peggy knows from experience what it was like to lose Steve. To mourn for him, for what might have been and to do what had to be done in order to keep him alive in some way. Whether it was starting SHIELD here, or taking up the mantle as she'd done. But she keeps that part to herself and pushes the memories down with a swill of her drink.
Flinching at the aftertaste, Peggy places the glass to the table and takes a deep breath in.]
No. No, it most certainly would not. [She agrees wholeheartedly before raising a brow at Steve, arms coming to cross loosely over her chest as she settles against the plush cushions behind her.]
If we're being perfectly honest? There's nothing I want more. [A beat.] Also, was that your not so subtle way of asking me to tell you my tale of woe, Captain?