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[shieldborne]

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[shieldborne]

[[Continued from here]]

That is a respectable coffee order, ma'am. Happy to comply. Give me ten.

And drink some water. Caffeine is a diuretic.

[He can't resist the opportunity to mother hen a little, evidently, given the chance.]

[pixiesized]

Awww, look at you, Team Mom! 😇

Rest assured, I've been chugging water and Gatorade since I woke up.

Are you hungry? Is that a stupid question? Every man I know seems like a bottomless pit, so probably, but I could have brunch delivered for us.

[shieldborne]

I try my best.

And I wouldn't say I'm a bottomless pit, but I could eat. Surprise me?

[Look, if there's anyone who knows where to get a good brunch, he's pretty sure it's her.]

((I'm assuming post TWS, if that's okay?))

[shieldborne]

[[Continued from here]]

Hold on, are you telling me you hacked SHIELD, or did you just pick up the files Romanoff let loose on the internet a few months back?

[The information is more or less the same, but he's going to be more impressed if it's the former. And a little more disturbed.]

Not really. They didn't give any less than I did.

Also the pictures they used were all wrong. Everyone looked so serious. If you tried to take a photo when any of those guys were looking, they made faces at the camera.

[pixiesized]

[ Oh, she definitely knows where to find good food in the city. Janet's starving and treating Steve is the least that she can do to show appreciation and, really, apologize for anything he might have had to deal with the night prior. ]

I've got just the place in mind.

that's okay!

[mischiefandice]

Both. The Ramonoff files were lacking essential information, though they were enlightening enough on their own.

[Is it mildly creepy that Loki spent all this time reading about you, Steve? You decide.]

Ah, but the world wants to remember heroes, not normal men and women making faces at the camera. You should see my portrait in Asgard's great Hall. It definitely does not convey the face I was giving the painter.

[shieldborne]

[If Steve were any other person, he'd probably find it unbelievably creepy. As it is, he's used to people doing historical research, background checks, and general annoying-but-harmless fan activities that result in him getting personal questions and other unwanted attention.

So, yes, it's mildly creepy, but he has some basis to handle it reasonably well.]

Part of me wants to ask why the hell you're this interested in me, but ultimately it might be better if I didn't know.

[And since he hasn't told Loki to back off yet, one can safely assume Steve is either not too creeped-out, or mildly intrigued, or both.]

I suppose. I'd just like for them to be remembered for who they really were. Because that was plenty good enough.

[shieldborne]

[Janet always seems like a person with connections, so to speak. Steve is almost the opposite of her in personality type, but that doesn't mean he's unable to appreciate her talents.]

I'll leave it in your hands, then. And I'll supply the coffee and aspirin.

[shieldborne]

((Continued from here))

[Of course, 'dating' presents its own set of challenges, namely that Steve was never very good at it and has lost what little practice he had. Also, spending a whole lot of time in public is a bad idea for them. They're pretty recognizable.

Coffee, picnics, and games of tag (or water fights) should work, though.]

Star-spangled boxers. [He returns the smirk, and even if his ear-tips turn pink, he's not too awkward to push his luck a little.] But it's the sock garters that really make the look.

[sinistral]

[The two of them aren't exactly normal people. Steve's considered 'unpredictable' — it's the polite word to use these days — and Bucky's a criminal. But this isn't for the public eye anyway, this is for a lazy morning kitchen, for sitting on the counter while Steve mixes up pancakes (and getting in his way), for pouring the coffee when it's done and offering a mug to Steve.

And giving him an obvious once-over, because Bucky can't pass up on the opportunity to make Steve squirm.] Mmm yeah, I could picture it.

[He winks.] Garters and all.

[shieldborne]

[He wouldn't have nearly so many stars-and-stripes boxers if people didn't keep giving them to him as gifts. His preference tends to be plain grey, blue, or black.

He buys his own handkerchiefs and sock garters, though. There's nothing wrong with clinging to some old-fashioned habits.

And having Bucky look him over like that makes a flush of heat ripple over him. He can only hope he's not turning redder. But he leans against the counter and reaches up over his shoulder, getting very close in the process, to get a bag of chocolate chips off one of the shelves.]

You can picture it all you want. There's no charge for lookin'.

[Technically, Steve has been 'unpredictable' since he was a kid. He just hadn't been 'dragged past his mental and emotional limits until he ran out of fucks to give', until recently. But it's nice that someone's out there trying to be tactful, since Steve isn't great at that, himself.]

[sinistral]

[At least one set probably came from Bucky, in all honesty. But that’s okay, just another prank between friends and really, Steve’s going to get him back for it. That’s just how they are. And now that “sex ninja” has been laid on the table, Bucky’s half afraid of shape that retaliation might take.

And Steve blushing, just right there at the tips of his ears? That’s familiar, something Bucky’s used to from growing up together, a reaction that clearly hasn’t gone away. But what’s new, what’s different is the way Steve leans close, crowds right into Bucky’s space.

And Bucky thinks he likes it.]

Good. [And maybe it’s too easy to fall into remembered habits but that slow smile, the way lashes sweep over his eyes and up again, the subtle lean toward Steve? It’s all part of a dance he knows too well, flirtation as natural as breathing.] ‘Cause I think I’m gonna do a lot of looking.

[shieldborne]

[Ninja underwear shouldn't be that hard to find. Ninja turtles are an option, in fact, although that would probably not be sexy.

The look Bucky's giving him seems only to intensify. He remembers that body language, the sweep of lashes, the lazy motions--like he's moving through honey. How many times, when they were young, did Steve daydream about Bucky flirting with him like that, and shut himself down before he could even think about voicing it? Maybe he was misguided. Maybe the kid who never admitted to being afraid of anyone or anything had a little streak of cowardice after all.

But that was then, and this is now, and the regrets may well come spilling out later, but at the moment there are pancakes to cook, so Steve lets himself feel this, lets himself blush a little more, and gives his friend a crooked, but not discouraging, smile.

And then discovers he's abruptly run out of clever banter.]

Um. Yeah? I'm okay with that. [This is why he never got many dates as a young man.] Very okay.

[sinistral]

[Please let it be ridiculous ninja turtle underwear because that visuals is just amazing.

But seeing Steve up close like this? Seeing the interest in his expression, the curiosity, the willingness to explore? That’s one of the biggest highs that Bucky has ever felt. And it’d be so easy to push further, he thinks, to push for more, to lean in and draw Steve into something—

And he’s not going to do it. Respects Steve too much, wants to take this slow. Do it right, whatever that means. So a hand just skims along the back of Steve’s palm instead, and Bucky lets his own expression soften.]

After breakfast. [So that he can be sure that it’s something Steve really wants, that Steve’s not just giving in to sudden pressure because Bucky trapped him into leaning close.] I’m gonna do a hell of a lot of looking.

[shieldborne]

[That can absolutely be arranged.

Steve seems a little bit hypnotized for a moment, just watching Bucky's body language and breathing in the scent of him (combined with the smell of pancake batter and coffee), and he's not sure what he's expecting, but it seems like the moment of calm before something big happens.

Except then Bucky backs down, and he's not sure if he's relieved or disappointed, but either way taking it slow is probably safest. Steve smiles at the touch and then moves away to dump chocolate chips in the bowl.]

Can I ask you something dumb? Maybe you don't even remember the answer...but you've got me wondering now, whether you ever looked at me before. Either before Project Rebirth or after, while we were fighting together.

If it's too hard to look back on that right now, don't. I just wondered.

[sinistral]

[That smile tells Bucky that he made the right choice, that backing down — as much as he didn't want to — is for the best. At least right now. At least until after breakfast.]

Wouldn't be the first time you asked a dumb question. [He can't help it; ribbing Steve is just part of the Best Friend Code. But the question isn't at all dumb — it's a little complicated, at least in how to word the answer. Bucky stalls by taking a sip of coffee, swiping a few of those chocolate chips from Steve.

That answer, when it comes, is actually pretty simple.]

You know that I never stayed with one dame for too long. Didn't it ever occur to you why?

[shieldborne]

[After breakfast, Steve is definitely going to attempt to invade Bucky's personal space again. In the nice way.

Steve sees that stall and takes the opportunity to get his own coffee and heat up the griddle, dropping butter in the bottom to melt.]

We were young. [He studies his face, sadness and awe blended in his eyes.] Figured...you just hadn't found the one, yet.

[He doesn't have to ask why Bucky never said anything while they were together in the Howling Commandos. There was a very good reason, and her name was Peggy, and Steve would have most certainly continued to court her after the war, if things had gone that way. His daydreams included a home and family with her, but with Bucky right there, too, maybe next door with a wife of his own, maybe some kids that would play with his and Peggy's kids. Something safe and conventional that wouldn't separate them. Something that probably would have made Steve, at least, very happy.

Man plans, God laughs. Maybe Steve was trying to have his cake and eat it, too, with those fantasies.]

I'm so sorry, Bucky. I shoulda said something when we were teenagers. I was scared of dragging you down, I guess. Or breaking what we had. I could never imagine life without you, though. Didn't want to try.

[sinistral]

Young and a little stupid maybe. [And there was the war. Speaking up, saying anything? Wouldn't have changed Bucky shipping out. And it wouldn't have changed what happened to Steve, perhaps. And after? After Steve had eyes only for Peggy and—

And it wasn't a bad thing. Bucky had his own demons to work through anyway, and Steve and Peggy — they worked. They worked and Steve got that soft, goofy smile on his face when he talked about her and that was it, that was the plan: win the war, go home, be Steve's best man.

Really, it had been a good plan.

But right now, right here? This is good too, sitting on the counter and watching Steve form pancakes on the griddle, watching the expressions on his face and the faintest hint of pink that occasionally graces the tips of his ears.]

It wasn't the right time. We both know that. [One foot nudges against the side of Steve's leg, something he deems the safest because, well, hot stove top.] I think it could be a good time now though.

[shieldborne]

You saying we're not still a little stupid? [Steve can't quite hide the flicker of pain--he's made some tremendous mistakes, of late--but he lets it go a moment later, in light of pancakes and Bucky's touch.

And Bucky's proposition. If anyone can heal the two of them, it's one another, and Steve gives him an unintentionally coy glance in his peripheral vision, smiling awkwardly. Hopefully.]

Can we do it right, then? Flowers, dancing, all that kinda goofy shit? I mean, you can still chase me down with limericks, too. I'll count that as love poetry.

[sinistral]

[Normally Bucky would twist that statement into a tease, lick into Steve mercilessly until they're both rolling on the floor with laughter. But it's the look in Steve's eyes that stops him. They're both still a little broken and trying to piece themselves back together. It's not necessarily a comfortable thing, but it's an important one.]

Maybe just a little. [He shrugs though; it's not a bad thing.] Maybe my stupid just needs your stupid.

And we could try, sure. I don't know how much of that I even remember how to do. [Isn't sure that he even wants it anymore, but he's not going to tell Steve something that he's having trouble reconciling himself. No, it's something he's got to dig into in terms of the whys, see if it's tied up in memories or the reality of his existence. It's not a struggle Steve needs to see, at least not yet — not until Bucky can explain it a little better.] But if you keep looking at me like that, I'm gonna have a hard time waiting until after breakfast to kiss you.

[shieldborne]

Our stupids compliment one another? I believe that. [The tension flees away again, and his smile goes from awkward to soft and warm.

Steve worries his lip, considering, without any particular concern that that gesture will make Bucky more inclined to kiss him. (Would that be a bad thing? The pancakes might burn.)]

Well, I never did learn to dance. And I'm not expecting to pretend we just stepped back in time or anything like that. Just let me try to be sweet here and there without laughing at me, okay? [Because flowers will probably be a thing before too long. Anything fancier than that can wait. Flowers, sharing a beer, and making out on the fire escape sound like a fair balance to Steve.]

[sinistral]

Wanna know what's even scarier? Our smarts compliment each other too. That's downright terrifying.

[There's the smile again though, the one Bucky just wants to lean a little closer to — especially when Steve chews on his own lip a moment later. His eyes are drawn right to the sight and he can't help that his tongue flicks out to wet his own lips in response. Steve really is just that attractive, and a lot of it is tied up into how he doesn't seem to even realize it. It's just natural in the way he moves — or perhaps it's more that he moves this naturally around Bucky. Bucky isn't sure which it actually is but he's most certainly not complaining either way.

And really, it's the practicality of burned food and the inevitable cleanup that would follow that are keeping him behaving right now. Well, for the most part.]

Hey, have I ever laughed at you when it's counted? [Laughed with Steve certainly, out of mutual enjoyment and happiness. Laughed at him? There's a difference.] You do sweet and I'll be wicked and we'll meet in the middle?

(sorry for the lag; got sick and fell behind on tags)

[shieldborne]

We have smarts? [He laughs and drops batter into the pan. There's a brief crackle as it hits the hot surface and spreads, and then the chocolate chips start to melt and make the sweet smell in the room even sweeter.]

You suppose we fit like that because we grew up so close, or is it just who we are? Maybe a little of both? [Steve has no idea whether he's attractive, or what his exact appeal is. He used to think it was the bulk and strength, and maybe for some people it is, but he's come to understand that attraction is far more individualized than that. And if Bucky had eyes for him before the serum...well, who knows what drew him then, other than familiarity?

Bucky was always beautiful, though. He had that poise and cockyness that Steve tried in vain to imitate, full lips and steely eyes, and he looked like trouble--the fun kind of trouble--until he smiled, and then he looked like an angel visiting Brooklyn on holiday. Steve was the reverse; he always looked innocent and vulnerable until he cracked a grin, and then he looked like the cat that caught the canary.

The truth was that they were both trouble, of course, and still are, so when Bucky suggests he'll be the wicked one, Steve isn't surprised.]

I like that. That'll take some of the pressure to be wicked off of me. [He flips the pancake and reaches for his coffee, then changes his mind and rests his hand on Bucky's knee instead.]

(no apologies needed! i hope you're feeling better and i'm totally okay with slow tags, seriously)

[sinistral]

You've got a smart mouth. [It's an automatic reply, one that comes with a twist of a smirk, the one that means there's some Bucky-esque wickedness incoming.] Maybe after breakfast I'll show you how smart my mouth can be.

[If his expression is anything to go by, he's fully expecting the statement to give Steve a wicked blush and maybe even some stammering. But there's also a serious question in there, one that makes his expression soften a little bit as he considers it.]

I think a bit of both, honestly. I mean, we've always just fit together, haven't we? [Sure, maybe not like this, not with the flirting and the lingering looks and little touches. But they have always fit right at each other's side from the very beginning, and it's always had less to do with Steve's appearance and more to do with his heart. Bucky's never met anyone like Steve, and he doesn't think he ever will. He's one of a kind for sure and Bucky thinks that this relationship, this whatever-it-is that they're tentatively building, is going to be pretty special too.

Steve's touch is welcomed, Bucky's leg shifting just a little bit closer to Steve. He wouldn't mind exploring a little bit more how they can touch, but it's going to wait until there's no hot stove to mind.]

Just wanna ease your workload a little. I know you overextend yourself. [Fingertips brush over the back of Steve's hand, feeling the structure of the bones under smooth skin.] We're in this together, remember?

<3

[shieldborne]

['Smart mouth' is a fair assessment, and Steve is about to say so, but Bucky's flirt catches him before he can respond, so all that comes out is a faint noise like the start of a word, then a huff of air. Steve rewards that wickedness with a grin, and quite a bit of a blush, and can't think of a good response. Instead, he basks in his own awkwardness for a moment.

He's not quite the stumbling ingenue he was when he was in his twenties, but for an old soldier, he's pretty inexperienced. Even if he wasn't, Bucky would still be able to throw him off his game, just by being Bucky.]

Guess we have. I remember being a little jealous of you here and there, but never enough to want to push you away. [He watches Bucky's fingertips on his skin, and something deep in his chest is shivering with want.

It can wait. They have time now, enough time not to rush.]

Maybe because I mostly just wanted to be worthy of you. [Which is a weird way to put it, maybe, like somewhere in his head Steve thought he was some kind of knight with a chivalric bond to his best friend.]

I overextend myself? You mean, with being trouble? [He's not sure if Bucky's teasing him again or if he's speaking more seriously this time. Either way would be absolutely valid, but there's something more alluring about the kinder interpretation. Steve doesn't need to be coddled (at least, he doesn't think he does), and he's comfortable with the idea that he's always going to have more duty than time to do it in, but Bucky is good at finding ways to care for him, even when he puts up a fuss about it.]

Wouldn't have it any other way. [He says softly, and bumps their foreheads together gently.]