The White Cliffs of Dover ((primarily for Quicksilver))

[shieldborne]

There's no such thing as a happy ending, because nothing's ever really ended. Not yet. In fact, most of the fights Steve Rogers has ever thrown himself into were to stave off an ending, for himself or someone else; most recently, for the Universe itself. That's a lot to ask from a kid from Brooklyn. It's probably all to the best that he's retired now. Semi-retired.

Forcibly semi-retired.

His physical therapist is going to chew him out for missing their session today, but he's been away from the Nexus for long enough. First, the broken PINpoint, then the Decimation, the battle with Thanos...and since then it's been a series of surgeries and attempts to put his delicate little body in some semblance of working order, while his brain adjusts to sensations he hasn't felt in over seventy years.

He unlocks the door to the clubhouse quietly, taps the keycode into the alarm system, and looks around. There's nothing broken, shockingly. No sign of break-ins, no thick layer of dust. Someone's been looking after the place. That makes his heart leap a little with mixed anxiety and relief.

He's going to have to answer a lot of questions, and he's not looking forward to that, but someone's been here. Someone remembers, and still cares. That's a really, really nice thought.

There's not much work to do, but he can't just sit idle with his thoughts or he'll go nuts, so he clicks on the lights and starts up the jukebox. Half the contents are 80s hits and the other half are from the 40s, and Steve has a definite preference for the latter. Vera Lynn's sweet alto starts up as he begins sorting through cabinets, taking inventory of the supplies in preparation to re-stock.

When someone comes in, he's crouched to look at a lower shelf, which makes him look even smaller than he is now. This is no longer the musclebound clean-cut Captain America. This is Steven G. Rogers, who is 5'4" in his shoes, who has an asthma inhaler in his pocket and a blue neoprene shoulder-brace over his button-down shirt. Who has reading glasses perched on his nose because he's not getting any younger. Who gave all of his serum-enhanced strength and the persona that came with it as a sacrifice to win the Soul Stone.

Comments

[iwillcatchup]

Night passes differently for Peter than it does most people. He does not need a lot of sleep. And thus the sounds of the jukebox are easily heard from where he is... down the hall in a room that he has claimed as his own.

He puts on his goggles, placing them on top of his head, and heads towards the noise.

Peter enters the kitchen, noticing a smaller person looking through the counters.

"If you are looking for food, you don't have to be so secretive."

[shieldborne]

If Steve had thought he might wake someone, he would have been more careful. As it is, the idea of someone actually staying here full-time never crossed his mind. His hearing is shot once again, now that he's reverted to his pre-serum self, and so he doesn't hear the approach until a second before Peter speaks. The result is him giving a slight start, gripping his shoulder as it gives him a twinge, and then standing up to look at the other man. His eyes are a little wide, and he looks a little guilty, but it's not the oh shit you caught me face of someone trespassing.

"Holy shit," he says softly. "You..."

You've been here all this time? Were you looking for me?

"You're huge. Jesus. How tall are you? You didn't used to look so huge."

(Steve, omg.)

But even if he's not being particularly articulate, his voice sounds the same. "Peter, it's me. I, uh...god, where do I start apologizing at?"

[iwillcatchup]

It is hard to see the other man's face in the darkness of the evening. And the voice is different. So when he hears his name, Peter quickens a step to the lights, to turn them on, and returns to where he was standing all in the matter of a second.

The appearance of the man before him is different from the Steve he knows. And he is confused, his mind going a mile a minute to put the pieces together.

"Me? Me who?"

[shieldborne]

Also, watching Peter zip around didn't used to make Steve slightly dizzy. The Nexus is going to take some adjustment. Again.

He rubs his hands across his face and smiles at him weakly. "It's Steve. Um. A lot of things happened. I'm sorry, I tried to text you, but my PINpoint failed. I couldn't get it to operate for months, and then Tony took it apart to make it work for time travel..."

"God. Are you okay? How long've you been staying here?"

[iwillcatchup]

"Steve..." Peter tilts his head. And studies the other man for a while.

"You look different."

"Um... for over a year now. Maybe more. It has become a home for me."

"Hope that is okay..." Peter finds a lollipop and places it into his mouth.

[shieldborne]

He grimaces, not sure whether that's 'different' is an ouch or not. They're going to have a lot of talking to do. He moves toward the kitchen island and tugs a stool out from beneath it, stares a moment as he realizes how much taller it is on him now, and then sighs and clambers into it.

"Yeah. Um. Okay, well, first of all, you're always, always welcome here. And honestly, I think I owe you for taking care of the place. I thought I was going to have to make all kinds of repairs, or rebuild from the ground up." He smiles at him wearily.

"But...this is what I looked like before Project Rebirth. I guess it's how I'm supposed to look, if science hadn't gotten a hold of me."

[iwillcatchup]

"I am glad that I found it. Especially after getting cut off from my dimension." Peter grabs a stool himself. "And felt that it was a good place to keep care of..."

"I didn't know anything about Project Rebirth. Are you okay?"

[shieldborne]

"Well, uh. It happened in the 40's. Middle of World War 2, and everyone was enlisting," he says softly. "Going overseas, doing their patriotic duty. I wanted to be a part of things. And then my best friend, Bucky, go drafted and I couldn't take the thought of him going off and maybe getting killed while I was stuck at home gathering scrap metal and growing victory tomatoes or whatever. But I was always small, I got asthma, flat feet, back problems--you name it, I won it in the genetic lottery. So the army wouldn't take me."

"Until I ran into Dr. Erskine. He saw something in me he liked. A good man. And he let me train for a place in an experiment. That was Project Rebirth. It was a serum that was supposed to enhance every human quality to its peak. Strength, stamina, speed, intellect. I impressed him enough that I was the first human test. And it worked."

"That's where Captain America came from."

He rubs his shoulder through the brace gingerly. "Anyway, I went home because I had to fight. There was...it sounds crazy, but there was this cult, and a guy called Thanos, who wanted to destroy half of all life because he thought there weren't enough resources in the universe to go around. I don't know if you know Thor...? Because his world went through the same thing."

[iwillcatchup]

"I heard a bit about the fight against Thanos. And was worried for you..."

[shieldborne]

He nods, apologetic again. "I had to go. When the universe is maybe about to get annihilated, no one gets to sit that one out. I wrote you like a dozen good-bye notes but never picked the right one to leave behind. I'm sorry."

And everything's changed now, so whatever was between them, it probably has to be rebuilt from the ground up anyway. "Thanos...actually won round one. Wiped out half the universe in a snap, literally, and then destroyed the Stones, the tools he used to do it."

"My PINpoint stopped working after that fight, and I'm not sure if it was because of the energy he put out or something else. But I was stuck, and the universe was closed off, as far as we knew, so we were trying to just...survive, for the past year and a half. And then Loki turned up and told us what happened with Thor's universe, and that there might be a chance to save ourselves still. So we took it."

"It involved time travel, which I still don't get well enough to explain, but honestly you probably understand the concepts better than I do in the first place since you're like a quantum speed-person." He sighs. "And we had to collect the Stones from the past, to use them to bring back the half of the Universe that got destroyed."

"One of them was the Soul Stone. Bucky and I went after it. You...you can't use it, unless you sacrifice something important to you. Something you love, or need, or rely on. A soul for a soul." He holds out his arms in a gesture that's half-shrug, half encompassing.

"We thought one of us had to die at first, and we were fighting over who it was gonna be, because both of us would have rather died than watch the other one kill himself. Then I realized there was a third option, and Captain America was it. I don't know if it would've even crossed my mind if not..."

He hesitates, because the idea came half from Loki's weird pep talks about who he thought Steve should have been, and half from the looming presence of Red Skull, and that's too much to go into on top of everything else. "Well. I get to be alive, anyway, even if I'm not the man I was. And we won."

[iwillcatchup]

Peter frowns slightly, at the mention of the good-bye notes and not one being left behind. It makes him wonder how many good-byes he has left behind. Or if any were given to him... after what happened in his world.

But he quickly focuses his attention on Steve's explanation. He removes the googles from his head as he listens. And plays with the plastic strap for a moment.

"I know how hard it is to have to fight a dangerous person. Or to make difficult decisions... because all you want is to save others." He thinks of the last fight he was in. And bites his bottom lip. Perhaps now is not the time to share what happened to him. And he focuses his attention on Steve again.

"Sounds like it was a really good idea to have... to sacrifice that part of yourself. Because you get to be alive. And I know it will be tough for you... not to be Captain America... but who says that is not the man you were? You are still a hero, Steve."

[shieldborne]

"In fairness, I kinda hoped I'd be back to explain. Sooner than this." He gives Peter a sad smile. Wouldn't blame him if he told him, off, really, but it seems like maybe that's not what's at the top of his mind right now.

He's not oblivious, either. Something must have happened to Peter for him to be living here full time and not with his comrades, but he's not going to demand answers just now. It might be better for them to get to know each other again at a gentle pace, and emotionally fraught topics can be broached with caution. He'll talk when he's ready, Steve figures.

He nods at the understanding, grateful that he's talking to another person in the same line of work as he is--or as he used to be. He's not sure yet what he can continue doing without immediately biting it. He blushes when Peter says he's a hero, though. He's not the first to say something like that to reassure him, but it sounds different coming from Peter's lips.

"Just trying to be a good man, like I promised," he says, and smiles sheepishly. "So, uh...you're okay with me moving back in here part time, I take it?"

A breath, and then he rises and heads for the stove. "I'm gonna make cocoa; want some?"

[iwillcatchup]

"I likely don't know this... but versions from another world, like yours, had appeared in the Nexus. Injured. Their Steve died. And I thought..." Peter closes his eyes for a moment. He knows that for him, death meant returning to the Nexus. But there was no sign of Steve after learning that news. It was heart breaking for him.

"And I was alone. Here. For such a long time. Just trying to figure out what to do next."

Considering the fact that time passes differently for Peter, that says a lot.

"Well it is your place. Really I am the one sort of... hijacking it."

"Sure. I think I still have a bag of marshmallows too."

[shieldborne]

Oh, geez. The idea that Peter might think he was dead hadn't even occurred to Steve. Possibly that's a sign that he still thinks of himself as closer to immortal than he ever was. He hesitates, then comes closer and puts his hands on Peter's shoulders. They're smaller now, long-fingered and delicate in comparison to before, but warm and alive.

"It's your place, too. Even from the start you were taking care of it almost as much as I was. Call it a joint project."

"I missed you, too. Thought about you a lot. I'm gonna have to come and go from my world some still. I still have doctor's appointments and stuff. But I'll be around; you won't be alone."

[iwillcatchup]

Peter lifts one of his hands to place it on top of the hand on his left shoulder. And smiles a little.

"We can do that." He nods.

"I am glad that you still can go back to your world." Peter pauses and gently squeezes the hand he is holding. "I can't. I can't go back to mine."

[shieldborne]

Well, if he's going to accept physical contact, Steve will go the next step and give him a hug. It's gentle, partly because Steve isn't as strong as he used to be and partly because his own right shoulder is iffy, but it's something.

"Good. I don't know...I mean, it wouldn't be right for me to assume we can pick up where we left off, and I wasn't exactly sure where we were when we left off anyway, but I'm real glad you're here. And if nothing else, I promise to be a better friend, and if more than that happens, then...that'd be good, too."

But he's a vastly different person now, physically speaking, so he's not going to be in a rush. "You might be able to visit my world," he says. "Now that it's not cut off."

He knows that's not what Peter's getting at, though, so he gives him a slow nod. "Your turn for sad story time, huh?"

[iwillcatchup]

It is different hugging this version of Steve, so it takes half a second for Peter to adjust to placing his hands around a smaller body. But he does hug Steve back.

"That is something I had not figured out either. So it is okay... to start off again. As friends." He does not want to rush anything either. Even for a speedster, he knows this is something that needs to take time. Patience.

Peter is quiet for a moment. Then nods. "One of our own... Jean... turned against us. We had to go into space to help some astronauts. And there was a strange power that Jean was affected by. She was not able to control her powers because of it. Lost her mind. And we had to try to stop her. Help her..."

"The last thing I remember was running towards her, up some floating concrete that she had spinning in the air. Then she looked at me. Her eyes were... red... dark... harsh. And I fell back. I remember a pain in my chest... and not wanting to look down..."

"And I woke up here. In the Nexus. And couldn't go back to my world."

"I think... I think I died in front of them."

[shieldborne]

He just hopes it doesn't feel like hugging a kid, on Peter's end. He's a small man, always will be at this point, but just as determined to be taken seriously as when he first signed up for the army.

He gives a sigh of relief and nods at Peter, immensely grateful for his understanding. As many of his own chances for happiness as Steve has blown, as many friendships as he's messed up by being stubborn and single-minded, at least this one has a chance.

He lets go and goes to put a pan of milk on the stove to heat up, getting out cocoa and spices to make up the drinks the old-fashioned way. He's listening, though. From the moment Peter talks about going into space, he has a feeling this is going to take a very dark turn, and he's not wrong. For a second, when he talks about Jean attacking him, Steve winces, remembering facing off with Bucky. But that had a much better ending.

(It was a near thing, though, wasn't it?)

"Christ," he says. "Peter, I'm so sorry."

He's not sure how to cope with 'possibly dead'. Peter wouldn't be the first person he knows with that condition. Loki's definitely dead, but Loki is also Loki. And then there's Sam and the others who were turned to dust but came back, and that's been a psychological disaster for most. But it's hard to think of someone as dead when they're right in front of you.

It's easier, strangely enough, to imagine the shock of losing access to his entire world. Steve moves to give him another hug, tentatively. "I'm sorry I wasn't here for you."

[iwillcatchup]

It feels like hugging a friend right now. Peter is the last one to judge someone else by their appearance or size. Having lived around mutants for a long time have taught him that a person can be more what they look like.

Peter leans into Steve when he comes into another hug. "I just felt really alone. For a long time. I missed you a lot... but didn't want to expect anything either."

[shieldborne]

Physically, Steve is exactly as frail as he looks, but he still has years of military training in his head, so there's that at least. And he's still Steve Rogers, for whatever good that means. This time, he makes a point of holding onto Peter a little longer, trying to offer whatever comfort he can.

"I bet you did," he says softly. "You shouldn't have had to be alone."

There's no point in apologizing again, and there's even less point in wondering who else could have been there for Peter in Steve's absence. Probably the best thing he can do is be here now.

"I'm kinda...semi-retired," he says softly. "This place is gonna be the main thing I'm doing, I think. That and painting. I'll probably be around so much you get tired of me."

[iwillcatchup]

"I don't think that is possible..." There is a slight smile at Peter's voice. "I have always considered you to be one of my closest friends. Someone I could talk to..."

"And... I missed you. Very much." He hides his face at the last comment.

[shieldborne]

Steve chuckles, because that's the kind of thing his friends say until they actually have to live with him on a daily basis. Bucky could tell you stories, Peter. But it's a compliment and he'd be an idiot to shrug it off, so he just thumps the other man on the back reassuringly.

"I can definitely be a listening ear, any time. Stick with the right one; my hearing in the left is a little iffy."

"It's good to be here," he adds more gently. "Good to see you again."

[iwillcatchup]

Well Peter is not the best roommate either. The speedster is up at weird hours, and can be a bit of an nuisance. It will be interesting to say the least... and the best way for them to get to know each other again.

He squeezes Steve's hand. "Good to see you."

Text, to Thor

[shieldborne]

Hey. It's Steve.

I don't know how much Loki told you. But I'm alive and out of the hospital. Still got outpatient PT twice a week but I'm going to be around the Nexus more.

So if you want to see me, I'm around. I hope you're okay.

[pirateangelbaby]

It's so good to hear from you! I've missed you.

He told me some of it. I get the feeling he left some out, but he told me you would live and recover. I'm glad that's true.

I'm getting along all right. A lot has happened since I last saw you. We'll have to catch up over a drink. A soda or something I mean.

[shieldborne]

Likewise! And I'm fine. Had to get my shoulder replaced but it's no big deal.

[Well, that's an understatement, really, but to a man who has a prosthetic arm, Steve figures a joint implant or two is cake.

There's a moment where he wants to reply wait wtf do you mean soda, but then he realizes that's a commentary on Thor's need to not drink, rather than the weakening of Steve's constitution. Oh.]

Soda, nothing. I demand a chocolate milkshake.

[pirateangelbaby]

I heard you're mortal again, too.

[No avoiding that, of course. Healing from his own war wound had taken a great deal of time, and Thor had his Asgardian strength to draw on. Without the magic formula that had given Steve his own strength, he can't imagine it's been an easy or short convalescence.]

That's a demand I can meet. I have not had one in several years but I think the Crossroads Cafe serves them.

[shieldborne]

Well, I wouldn't say I was ever not mortal. Just less so, maybe. I hope you like being taller than your friends because you've got almost a foot on me now.

[Funny, height was a sore spot for Steve before, but now it's the least of the things that bothers him about the change. He's not thrilled about having to shop in the boy's section for clothes now, though.]

Really? Years? Next time I see Loki I'll tell him off for not feeding you right. You got a minute now? I can meet you.

[pirateangelbaby]

I'm used to it. But don't let Hulk hear you say that, he gets competitive.

[It's relieving to be able to joke around with a friend again, awkward and distanced though this is. When Steve offers to make a meeting now, rather than some other date, Thor cannot help but jump at the opportunity.]

I do. Meet you there.

[shieldborne]

I don't think any of us can compete with Hulk for height.

[Or much of anything else, frankly!]

Sure thing! I'll be maybe fifteen minutes. Walking a little slower lately.

[Walking, though! Walking is good.

...god, he hopes Thor recognizes him when he walks into the Cafe.]

[pirateangelbaby]

[ooc: Switching to prose if that's okay!]


Fifteen minutes is plenty of time for Thor to wash up from the garden, give the ravens a treat or two, and make his way to the Nexus. He's dressed lightly by Norwegian standards, fit for a little outdoor work with dirt smudges on his pants to prove he's already been doing just that, sleeves rolled up to expose his forearms. He doesn't see Steve just yet, and so grabs a corner table, his long legs sprawling out away from the main walkway.

He's seen a photo of Steve before the serum once, years ago. Just the once. Thor hadn't read Fury's files in depth, too proud to admit that he hadn't understood half of what he'd been reading and figuring it didn't make much difference in the long run anyway. Now he's slightly regretting it, lifting his head every time the door opens to see if it's his friend.

Thor does a small doubletake when he recognizes Steve. Even after he'd been told that his enhancements were taken from him, Thor was still half-expecting to see the broad-shouldered man that he'd known before. This Steve is... so tiny.

He moves to stand, then thinks better of it, relaxing back into the chair. "Over here!" he calls, waving his real hand.

[shieldborne]

He's nervous about this. About seeing Thor again when he's looking so different, himself. Of all his old teammates, Thor's feeling sorry for him would sting the most. Which makes no sense, because the guy's already a god, so it's not like Steve was ever likely to beat him arm-wrestling or anything (a draw, perhaps). He always felt like Thor respected him anyway, though, on a level that had less to do with physical strength and more to do with intangible drive and personality. Those parts of him haven't changed, at least.

Really, though, they've both been through some intense physical changes, and he's reminded of that when he sees Thor. The missing eye, the lost arm. They're both old soldiers, with different kinds of scars. The nerves dissolve when Thor waves, and Steve smiles at him.

Yeah, it's gonna be weird, but the okay kind of weird.

"Hey," he greets, and wanders closer, pulling out the seat across from Thor and sitting, hooking his ankles behind the front legs of his chair. The body language comes across as a little more youthful somehow, now that he's half the size he was. "You look good. Were you gardening?"

[pirateangelbaby]

There's surprise on Thor's face, but rather than pity, more than anything else he looks pleased to see Steve, in the manner of someone meeting a good friend after a long time apart. Whether this is 'his' Steve or not, it's rarely made much difference to Thor.

"I was," he confirms with a bright smile that bears only a hint of the embarrassment he'd once felt at embracing this side of himself. "Harvesting herbs, mostly. They're always in demand, either for the healing hall or the cookpot. Or both, sometimes."

Speaking of healing... Thor's eye has already traveled over Steve as the man approached, taking note of the change to his gait, the slope of his shoulders. He says nothing of it now, but there's a slight relaxation in his own body language at seeing his friend upright and... relatively healthy, considering. "It's my favorite part," he says instead, steering clear of the topic until Steve indicates otherwise. "Seeing what my hands have helped create."