Steve's eyebrows go up, and for a moment he looks equally confused. Of all the questions Tony could have asked, that's not the one he expected. Then again, maybe he should have.
The glib, easy answer would be something along the lines of 'have you looked in the mirror lately?' but he doesn't think Tony's asking whether Steve thinks he's physically attractive. Objectively, the whole lot of them are a pretty good-looking bunch, although there's always room for personal opinion. Tony may be more insecure about many things than he lets on, but he probably doesn't need to be reassured he's pretty.
He's looking for something more personal. That's both touching and a little frightening. If you let attachment crawl under your skin too deep, if you let yourself fall in love, there's a risk--maybe an inevitability--of loss. Steve's not ready to give his heart away and then maybe have to watch this man fall screaming down an icy precipice or fade into the quiet twilight of Alzheimer's disease. But there's a middle ground, and maybe room for affection and lust to grow into something deeper, in time.
"I know I've been out of circulation a while," he says, awkwardly "and I'm not as...active as maybe some guys are? But I do like sex, and there's something fun about the things that were unspeakable taboos before being okay now."
He's blushing. So much for seeming calm and in control. "And I like you, believe it or not. You..."
He runs his fingers through his hair and gives him a a faintly exasperated look. "You drive me up the wall. Half the time you act like you don't take anything seriously and the other half of the time you're talking over my head. You're sarcastic, you push my buttons on purpose, and then just when I'm tempted to conclude you're basically a jackass you do something so incredibly brave it's downright humbling."
He makes a helpless gesture. "So I spend a lot of time wanting to throttle you and the rest of the time wanting to hug you. You challenge me. That's what I get out of you. I don't know, maybe this is the next logical step. I never saw you the way you were last night before. I'd like to see it again."
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2017-05-12 03:01 am (UTC)The glib, easy answer would be something along the lines of 'have you looked in the mirror lately?' but he doesn't think Tony's asking whether Steve thinks he's physically attractive. Objectively, the whole lot of them are a pretty good-looking bunch, although there's always room for personal opinion. Tony may be more insecure about many things than he lets on, but he probably doesn't need to be reassured he's pretty.
He's looking for something more personal. That's both touching and a little frightening. If you let attachment crawl under your skin too deep, if you let yourself fall in love, there's a risk--maybe an inevitability--of loss. Steve's not ready to give his heart away and then maybe have to watch this man fall screaming down an icy precipice or fade into the quiet twilight of Alzheimer's disease. But there's a middle ground, and maybe room for affection and lust to grow into something deeper, in time.
"I know I've been out of circulation a while," he says, awkwardly "and I'm not as...active as maybe some guys are? But I do like sex, and there's something fun about the things that were unspeakable taboos before being okay now."
He's blushing. So much for seeming calm and in control. "And I like you, believe it or not. You..."
He runs his fingers through his hair and gives him a a faintly exasperated look. "You drive me up the wall. Half the time you act like you don't take anything seriously and the other half of the time you're talking over my head. You're sarcastic, you push my buttons on purpose, and then just when I'm tempted to conclude you're basically a jackass you do something so incredibly brave it's downright humbling."
He makes a helpless gesture. "So I spend a lot of time wanting to throttle you and the rest of the time wanting to hug you. You challenge me. That's what I get out of you. I don't know, maybe this is the next logical step. I never saw you the way you were last night before. I'd like to see it again."